Taqwa

Taqwa; teach a lot of things to me as a learner.

Having the messy and hard times, I take a break to sit down. Asking myself why I am here? Looking into the sky, I see that way – the way that I had been past in my journey, and why it comes back? Even though many of years I take to ask that question, still I wouldn't get the answers. Here, all I do is numbing in myself; let it go the tears.

I try to forget all the things, and it doesn't work – even I feel I was dying slowly, I don't have a choice neither back to Him. And along the way, I just crying - not knowing why I have to.

Return home; I start living. Alhamdulillah for hold me again Rabb, even though many times I refuse to step it back.

I have a lot of question when Rabb deceive me on what I'm hanging on, on what I love most. But I always don't mind with what I had done to my Rabb. My sins, my wrongdoing - everyday every second - to my soul, body, people and Allah creature’s. And then yet I can still proudly question on Him - how ungrateful I am. It was too pain stabbing into my heart, when I had realize how I was being to You Rabb.

The Taqwa, is the key of what I lost - my soul, my Rabb bless. I don't have that key, that’s why I'm here - crying for nothing.

Taqwa; the border that you put between you and hell in order to achieve The One, Allah Aza Wa Jala – The moments I read on to myself; repeatedly, my inside totally broken - into pieces.

I had done many a lot of things. But I never put the Taqwa in every thing that I had done. And where am I? Ya Rabb...

–nk